Feb 25
Missed sending yesterday's e-mail until I found it in mail-waiting-to-be-sent last night. Don't know how it connects with sacrifice, but it feels dumb to have missed it.

I am too tired to have much to say today. It is early morning after midnight and today is the end of a long day of work and class. I have class again tomorrow at 8:45 am.

The concept of "living sacrifice" has brought me face-to-face with my struggle with time management. This has been a very powerful year for this to happen. As busy as I've been, my sacrificial attitude toward time has had a make-over of sorts.

I do believe that there is always plenty of time to do what God calls us to do. I believe that is true of all of our resources. Plenty if given to "living sacrifice". Not always extra, not always early, but enough and on time. My challenge is refining my life so that I do not waste "plenty" on non-sacrificial things.

So I'm going to go to bed and spend the next 7 hours in "sacrificial slumber".

Feb 26
There are times when a "living sacrifice" means giving up what might have been and embracing what is.

The older I get, the more there is that 'might have been'. It is easy to get caught up in spending precious energy, thought and time regretting, wishing or waiting for what will never be.

This may seem like a downer of a concept, but I think instead it is one of the most freeing aspects of this kind of sacrifice.

To sacrifice those expectations to their unrealistic place allows me to focus on what is. To give it all my effort, expectation and planning. To make sure that the purpose of the present doesn't get lost in the pursuit of the past.

I have so much that is good now in my life that it is nearly blasphemous to wish for that which I messed up or God chose not to allow. My sacrifice of those desires gives me hope, tunes my focus and sets me free.


Feb 27
This journey has been eye-opening for me. I knew going in that it would be life changing if I gave it a month of serious contemplation for each topic. Now, near the end of just 60 days, I am mostly aware of how much I underestimated my need to change.

It makes sense that before change can be effective, I must understand the depth of the need. Even as I have increased hope for the good to follow, I am recognizing the how much change needs to occur.

I find that my sensitivity to wrong thoughts and attitudes has sharpened. I have been checked on a more regular basis regarding the things I am about to say. I feel challenged regarding my commitment to "living sacrifice".

I am becoming more comfortable with where this is taking me. Instead of thinking that I am going to be hemmed in by the restrictions I might sense taking place around my life, I feel like a bobsled rider at the Olympics. The developing boundaries of my world allow me to travel my course without flying out of control. God's boundaries give me a focus and sense of direction that lead to a life of purpose. A life of purpose keeps me from depression and inadequacy.
I am looking forward to where this journey is taking me.

Feb 28
Last night of writing about sacrifice! I am aware that I am still called to be like Paul - to 'die daily'. I know that sacrifice will be a regular and continuous part of my life. Like the best eating plan, it isn't a diet, but a lifestyle.

A sacrificial lifestyle is a matter of attitude. I know that my true "sacrifice" is a pale imitation of Jesus' pattern of life. Once it becomes second nature, the lifestyle that seems so "sacrificial" now will be seen for what it really is, the path to redemption, release and ultimate reward.

What I "give up" becomes what Paul called "dung" in comparison to knowing the richness of Christ. There is not an earthly reward or honor that can match what God has prepared for us in inner peace here and eternal joy with Him there.

Sacrifice for love is pure delight. May my love grow for that which is my greatest delight.