"Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." Matt 5:7

If you have never needed mercy, then it is okay for this verse to be about someone else. If you have never shown mercy, then this verse is about someone else. But we've all shown some mercy and we have all needed more. So I wonder if there is any kind of equitable distribution here? Am I given in proportion to what I give?

I hope not. I'm not good at knowing where to draw the line. If mercy can only be shown when I have the ability to withhold it, then when do those situations occur? For me, they generally occur when I am in the right and others are in the wrong and I can either allow or inflict punishment.

As a parent, those situations have come frequently. If my child disobeys, how do I show mercy and still show "tough love"?
As a husband, I am usually on the wrong end of the "I owe you" scale. But, on those rare occasions when I am right, how do I show mercy and still stand up for myself?

I find it relatively easier to show mercy to strangers who hurt me in singular occurrences than my own family where the hurts may happen more than once. Where does mercy fit here?

I catch myself more often now, it is true, but I am not sure always what to do then. No answers today, only more stuff to ponder as I am transformed.

I talked about my dad last week. He was a very practical man and, after listening to me whine about my lack of positive experience with mercy for 16 straight days, I think he's probably saying I should have some positive results by now.

And, today, I can tell you that I think it's working! I find myself catching myself just before I do the unmerciful thing. And I find myself much more aware of the grace God has given to me. I told some co-workers about my journey with mercy and was warmed at their support and encouragement. It happened just as I was catching myself wanting to match their critical humor about someone in a class we are taking. Sharing my struggle was a very positive step in the process for me.

I heard someone say the other day that it is so much easier to believe the bad things that are said about you. That really hit home with me. Works for the bad things I say about myself, as well, I think.

For this to work, it is so valuable for me to write these thoughts each day. I would encourage anyone to write down their thoughts about their journey also, since there is something very developing about the process. If you need someone to read them to keep accountability in the effort, I would be happy to have that gift.

My goal is to reach the place where there are fewer times for me to catch myself. Dad would say to spend my thoughts in higher places. Easy for him to say now . . . -- Oh, but I miss him.

Half way through mercy! I'm not sure I have made enough personal progress to already be halfway through. I am, however, much more aware of this issue in me.

Most of you who know me fairly well know that I love to joke and have fun. I am so tempted to do this in these thoughts. But I know if I did it would diminish what I am called to accomplish in me. I am not writing this for any one else but me. I come close to forgetting that at times.

So I seek to stay serious, focused on the subject and my purpose. Although I would add that irony has it's uses.

Mercy is withholding that which you have the ability to inflict on another. I have an almost natural gift(?) to find the sarcastic or cutting remark that is devastatingly funny. The problem is that it is devastating to the subject of the remark. Whether they are there or not isn't the point. And I have come to realize that it hurts and is wrong. Mercy calls me to catch myself for now and withhold this display of my brilliance (irony there).

The goal is to renew my mind so that I don't have to provide proof of my intelligence at all, much less in a way that is harmful. May that be my thought for today.

"Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear -- hating even the clothing stained with corrupt flesh." Jude :22, 23

Final part in the Jude trilogy is the toughest. We live in a world where there are many ways to get burned. Evil is deceptively attractive and capable of intense damage. Satan delights in getting us to buy into the idea that the fire is an exciting thing to experience.

When we watch those close to us get drawn into the fire, mercy requires action. Not an "I told you so," not "You made the bed, now you lie in it," not "This doesn't concern me."

Mercy is acutely aware of the contagiousness of the rottenness of this world - the death masquerading as life, the constant demand to approve of immoral and ungodly behavior. An awareness that calls us to be very afraid of getting caught up in it ourselves.

But mercy does not reject, it continues to love. Wrong behavior, especially "in God's face" wrong behavior, tempts us to damn the wrong "behaver". Instead, we are called to hate the attitude that corrupts, the behavior that infects with death, the sins that clothe the self-destructive one created to be a child of God.

In mercy we do not condemn the sinner. That is God's and only God's prerogative. In mercy we pray for reality to bring clarity of God's holiness and the true need of His Presence within. No matter how close to the fire.

It seems God has in mind for me to test my ability to accomplish more than I thought I ever could in the time I have available : )

I believe we grow the most effectively when we are pressed. If we remain comfortable, history has shown that we tend to remain at rest. So I believe God puts us in situations where we are somewhat outside of our comfort zone.

I always said I did not have the gift of mercy. I was kind of proud of that. I did not connect it to my difficulty in feeling worthy of God's mercy.

My stretching today involves my beginning to understand how much I lack in this area and how great God's Grace in His mercy to me. May I remain uncomfortable until I begin to understand the depth of His mercy and my part in it.