Why does God's mercy seem to extend more to some than to others? I don't think it is heresy to write this - the Old Testament asks that question many times.

The fact that I am writing this means that it seems that I have benefitted more than others - at least it feels that way to me. I have been given the opportunity to spend a whole month pondering this amazing concept of mercy; there are many who aren't here - may never get to this place.

It would be the ultimate act of mercy to forgive the sins of everyone who ever lived. Flat out forgiveness, no conditions. All have deserved to burn in Hell, is mercy available only to some?
This question I at least think I understand. God, through Jesus' arrival, life, death and resurrection - in mercy for all - forgave all their sins. No limited atonement for a chosen few.

I think that He has already forgiven the sins of everyone. My opportunity is to accept in faith that He sacrificed His life and conquered death for me, personally. His mercy is complete - forgiveness has been offered. My part is to take it in along with His offered Holy Spirit.

The difficult part is why, if this is so, do some people end up in Hell at all? I think it must take a very deliberate act of refusing to believe in order to get there.

Too much thinking for one day - but it is good for me to work through things like this. The part I must understand is that He really does have mercy on my soul, and I understand that I need it.

It hit me today that I have been expecting too much of myself and this month. I will not conquer my lack of mercy so easily. I may never "conquer" it at all. It may have to be done for me. What a concept!

My true responsibility for this month was simply to be "in view of God's mercies." Aware of what He has done in withholding deserved disaster from sinners like me. Awed at His love that leads to His mercy. Awakened to His joy in extending His mercy. Awash in the power of His ability to soak my deepest sins in the merciful blood of Jesus.

This much I am getting. Viewing His mercies humbles me while at the same time it stimulates a growing hunger for the change I am promised within.

I sense this process becoming very personal. This format so exposes my weaknesses that I am tempted to hide from sharing my journey. Exposure catalyses change, but in that very exposure there is a price to pay. I am seeking God for how to work through the nature of my change and my call to share it.

All the while I remain focused on the view.

Three weeks. That's what it is supposed to take for a regular activity to become a habit. That's where we are with our work on mercy. I have found myself thinking about how mercy works in my circumstances throughout the day lately, so I think it is working.

I just don't think I have a habit pattern formed yet, other than thinking much more about how it works. I am hoping and expecting that the next 10 days will be instrumental in putting that regular thinking into a habitual pattern of mercy outflowing from my heart and mind.

"In view of God's mercies . . ." Recent struggles with my attitude after being hurt by someone have been enlightening for me. I have become much more aware of how my past sins must have hurt others and how God's mercy was so amazing.

At the same time I still struggle with fears of becoming a melancholy pansy and losing my joy of life in this transformation. Yet, when I think about this, I realize that becoming a merciful person and fully aware of the mercies I have received will develop a depth of joy in my life I have never known.

So, 10 more days to get there, may God help me!

"What does the Lord require of you? To act justly, to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6: 8

Loving mercy is good - we've been working on that. Balancing loving mercy with acting justly is nearly divine - and maybe the essence of this chapter.

Can I show mercy and still choose not to put myself back into an environment where I am going to get hurt again? I think so, at least for most situations where there was never commitment in the first place. Mercy is withholding the power I have to hurt someone else, revenge is wanting to get even, justice is recognizing the need of the community to be free of an abusive situation. Revenge is bad, mercy is good, and justice is necessary for healthy societies.

If I live in a neighborhood where my family is set upon regularly, I can exercise mercy not to exact retribution myself. But it also makes good sense not to stay where my family would be hurt.

If the pain is within my own close relationships with friends or family, the choices are much more difficult. Where is my commitment to my toxic parent or sibling? How much should I expose to a close friend who doesn't get it? When does justice call for a break in the relationship? And where does mercy fit in?

I have friends who have divorced because of their pain - when does that line get crossed where it is a matter of justice - saving the family members by separating from the cause of the pain - rather than mercy withholding the punishment?

As I get into the next verses in this chapter, I am promised the ability to "test and approve what God's will is -- His good, pleasing and perfect will." I seek to understand mercy now to prepare for that understanding then. God, please help me.

"Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!" James 2:12,13

Just when I think that I am making real progress on this journey toward transformation, all Hell breaks loose. This has been a crazy week of disruption and confrontation in both strange and the usual places.

I write this because if it is happening to me, it is possibly happening to you and it is important to know that it is part of the battle we wage against forces resistant to positive change. Our own mind is very comfortable with the way things have been and has it's own fear of the unfamiliar.

I counseled with a young man yesterday about his failure to perform to his parent's expectations. In our conversation it became very clear to me that he had some thinking errors about how to handle what was happening to him. He felt if he obeyed his parents or acted properly, he would be rewarding them for their style of discipline (taking things away from him). So, he chose to disregard his schoolwork and sleeping patterns to show them he was strong enough to outlast them. Unfortunately, he missed the point that the true loser in this game was him. He was playing "chicken" with an oncoming train called missed opportunity. And his brain was wired to reject submission and unfamiliar with self awareness.

I, too, struggle here at times. I want to be right and have others know it. My brain is much more familiar with defense and self-protection than mercy. It is easier to judge the faults of others and use them to justify my own position. In the process, I can find myself heading toward a trainwreck and feeling justified all the way to impact.

Mercy triumphs over judgment! How I wish it was easier than judgment!